Second Chances Don't Exist
by Quirky Del
Summary: A tumultuous Christmas Eve with Jo, Laurie, and Amy...


**Here's another Jo/Laurie story! I know, I'm addicted! I have two of them that I need to update, but this was just itching to pour out so here it is. It's rather melancholy for Christmas, but it felt right this way...let me know what you think.**

**Standard Disclaimer, you all know the drill, right?**

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She made a terrible mistake.

And there wasn't a thing that she could do about it. It was too late. Too late for second chances. Too late for misguided confusion. Too late to say sorry. Just too late.

She sat back in the elegant chair, the plush velvet taunting her skin with it's grandeur.

"Are you alright, Jo?"

Her dark musings scattered briefly when she looked for the source of the question. A golden crowned young woman was eying her with worry. The regal looking blond seated herself next to her, expensive silk sweeping as her thick skirts settled.

"I'm fine, Amy. Thank you."

"You look pale. Perhaps you need some water..."

Jo shook her head. "No, thanks. Really, I'm fine."

Amy sat watching her closely, making Jo squirm. Laurie re-entered the room, carrying three ornate glasses, each brimming with frothy eggnog.

"Here you are, ladies..." he handed one to each of them before taking a nip at his own.

"Laurie, dear. Look at Jo..." Amy commanded, concern colouring her voice.

Laurie complied readily, but unbeknownst to her his gaze had been set on Jo before his wife's request. He clucked his tongue ominously. "It's just as I feared..." he said in his most solemn tone.

"What?" Amy asked, sounding as though she was a frightened little girl once more.

Jo's eyes widened, wondering what on earth he had seen. He leaned closer to her, his brows knitting in consternation. He frowned. "Jo..." he whispered, mounting poor Amy's alarm.

"What is it?" she breathed.

"I haven't the foggiest idea!" Laurie finally exclaimed with a flourish and a twinkle, laughing at the two shocked faces before him. "What on Earth am I supposed to be looking at?" he asked, amused.

"You're impossible!" Amy exclaimed heatedly. "Can't you ever be serious, even for one minute?"

"Of course, my lady. I shall be an undertaker, just for you. Shall I roll the hearse around to take us to Christmas mass in the morning?"

Jo snorted, most unlady like, eliciting a pleased grin from the boy. Amy glared at him, not appreciating his teasing.

"My sister looks ill, don't you think?"

"Thanks," Jo comment dryly, absently trying to smooth her wild hair.

"Are you feeling bad?" Laurie asked genuinely.

"I'm alright. I don't know why my sister is making such a fuss over nothing."

He wasn't satisfied however and he knelt before her, examining her queerly. "You do look a bit peaked now that I think about it. Haven't you been eating?"

"Not you, too, Teddy. Honestly, there's nothing wrong."

He squinted his eyes, as though this would give him a definitive answer. He snapped his fingers. "I know what you need, dear fellow! A hearty drink of some noggy goodness!"

She smiled, raising the glass and tipping the thick yellow foam down her throat. A fuzzy warmth tingled down her, making her orbs expand.

"Teddy! You didn't!" Jo admonished half heartedly.

"Just a smidgen – for medicinal purposes, of course," he winked.

Amy watched the exchange. "What are you talking about?"

"You best not have a drink of that, Amy. I'm afraid our boy here has been rather naughty and forgotten a long ago promise that he made to us March girls."

Amy flinched slightly at Jo's use of 'our' boy, but she pushed it away as she often did. "What promise? Laurie – what have you done, now?"

Wicked excitement tumbled over him, as he grinned devilishly. "Come now, Jo. You're not really going to befault and lecture me for this one little time, are you? Besides, it's Christmas – I'm just trying to get into the _spirit_..."

Jo groaned at his pun, but couldn't suppress the corners of her lips turning upward. "You are a good lad, by and by, so I suppose I can forgive you this one indiscretion – as long as you promise not to make a habit of it."

"Scouts honour, my captain," he affirmed with grave giddiness, his hand flying up in a mock salute.

Jo gave him a pleased smile which Laurie returned. Amy looked at the two, and she hated the familiar feeling of jealousy that began to dance in rapid rhythms within her. She sat silently regarding them, but she stood when it seemed neither were going to break their moment.

"Well, I for one, do not condone such behaviour, and you know that very well, Theodore Lawrence! You know that I do not engage in alcohol and I should be ashamed to think if you were."

"Really, Amy – this one time couldn't hurt," Jo defended her friend, surprised at the angry glare that her sister swooped on her.

"You see, Amy. If Josephine March approves, then it must be fine." Laurie plumed.

"Oh, yes! By all means! If _Jo_ says it's alright, then why consult your own _wife_? Where would the logic be in that?" Amy fumed, exiting the room, the end of her grand dress whipping around the corner in her haste.

Laurie turned a dumbfounded look to Jo. She rose from her chair, crossing the room awkwardly, purposely putting distance between them.

"I'm sorry, Teddy."

He gave a little shake of his head, tousling the ends of his hair. "It's not your fault. She's just in one of her moods..." he all but muttered to himself, cross lines creasing his brow.

"I shouldn't have butted in. I'll go talk to her." Jo took a few steps toward the archway that Amy had disappeared through but she was stopped by a hand on her arm.

"Best to leave her for a while...she'll cool down."

Jo stood frozen, her heart thumping erratically as her eyes shot down, staring at the masculine hand that was perched on her arm.

He followed her scrutiny and was about to remove his hand but thought better of it. Instead he squeezed her gently, keeping his hand in place and catching her eyes with his own.

"Jo..." he sighed softly.

"Teddy, no..." she gulped, recognizing his tender gaze. Guilt tore into her as her heart screamed at her **not** to stop him – to give into whatever he was going to say...to just give in...

"We both still feel it, Jo; I know we do..." he murmured to her, moon eyed. He now had a hand on each of her arms, preventing her flight.

"Teddy, we can't...we won't. I won't listen," she susurrated, hating the betraying break in her voice.

"It wasn't meant to be this way, Jo...we both know it," he told her lowly.

"Stop. You mustn't talk this way to me," she tore her eyes away from him, her feet itching to flee the temptation.

"It's never been right between Amy and I. It's only gotten worse, Jo dear. She knows...she knows that I still love you." His voice was trembling with the emotion of keeping all of this to himself for so long and it was finally bursting forth from his lips. "You can't tell me that you don't feel the same about me, I know that you do..."

She shook her head violently, still avoiding his dewy stare. "You're out of your wits, and I'm befuddled myself – let me go, Teddy, _**please** _let me go..."

The despairing pleading in her voice broke him. He reached both hands up to cup her face as his thumbs wiped away the fresh tears tumbling down the sharp contours of her cheeks.

"Please, don't hurt me more than I already desperately am..." she whispered it so lightly that it was almost lost in the thin air.

"**_I need you, Jo._**"

"We can't need each other – it's just too late, Teddy. I'm so sorry..." she gasped as a sob blurted out. "Now, please let go...!"

His arms released her hesitantly, as his dark orbs clouded over with misery. Jo dashed out so swiftly, arm hiding her face as she ran past him.

He stood in the middle of the large room helplessly, wondering how what began as a lighthearted yule tide night ended in such an emotional blur of gray.

"Goodnight, Laurie."

His wife's voice surprised him, as he snapped his head round to see her standing in the doorway.

"Amy. How long have you been..."

"Long enough. I guess I know what was bothering my sister, now," she answered with an unnervingly detached air.

"I'm – I don't know what to say."

"Neither do I." Amy's slim form was silhouetted against the wall, and Laurie wasn't sure if she really was as ghostly white as she looked or if it was just the flicker of the flame playing tricks.

"I'm sorry."

"I heard Jo say that, too."

"Don't blame Jo for my inexcusable behaviour. It was my fault –"

Amy laughed coldly. "Forever the gentleman, aren't you, Laurie?"

"Amy," he had never felt so rotten in his life – well, to be honest this was the third worst moment of his life. The first was when Jo turned down his proposal, the second was only moments ago when once again Jo fled from his arms.

"It's alright. I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight." Amy looked so frail and sad, it make Laurie want to crack but all he could say was "Goodnight."

He watched her disappear out of the room and leave him alone once more. He numbly made his way up the stairs to grab the quilt that Beth had made for him so many years ago and he set himself a bed up on the red gondola couch in the parlour. He glanced out of the frosted window from his station, his long legs sticking out from the end of the old quilt. He turned on his side, tucking his knees in and hugging a pillow to him tightly. He imagined it was Jo that was in his arms as he drifted into a restless sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**What did you guys think? I'd love to hear your thoughts – what did you think were the best parts, where should I improve? I hope you all liked it and thank you very, very much for reading!**

**Hope I didn't make you all too sad. I'm not sure if this will stand as a oneshot or if I'll add to it. **

**Reviews would be most, most lovely and greatly appreciated!**

**Happy Christmas!**


End file.
